screw it...

I'm here to confess today that I'm tired of writing. Not long term, not forever. I just want a break. One week, maybe two! And I know if I took a full two week break, halfway through I would be inspired by something and want to jot it down, but right now I'm juggling seven different writing projects (these are only the ones that must be done by today or tomorrow, not including things that I really want to do myself). I just thought to myself, maybe I'll write something for my adoring Discord/Harmony fans, but then the words "screw it!" entered my brain. Jumping from writing about city council meetings, teacher profiles or circus documentaries to writing about theology or the world at large was just too much. I've got so much junk running through my head I can't properly think about this stuff.

So this has entered a new phase in the world of Discord/Harmony. The phase in which you, gentle reader, don't have to hear about my political or religious rantings. It may appear more like a livejournal entry in which I merely rant about work, school or other aspects of my life.

Today's random writing that has nothing to do with anything involving brain power (of which I currently have none, all of which is devoted currently to schoolwork) is about Antony and the Johnsons.

Antony is a depressing New York songwriter who hangs out with people like Lou Reed and Rufus Wainwright (ie poetry with a dash of the maudlin angst). He's a pretty good songwriter, but his voice is really what either attracts you to or repells you from this music. His voice sounds a bit like Rufus Wainwright and Nina Simone got thrown into a blender and unwillingly morphed together. His voice is high and crooning, and features a vibrato that fluxuates about ten yards wide. Megan has politely asked me to play something else when I throw on his CD. This makes me sad myself, but I can really respect anyone that doesn't like his voice. It could be a big detractor.

The other hurdle many may have is the lyrics, which are depressing verging on masochistic. In one song of his first album he asks a lover to hit him because he's been happy lately. Yikes Antony! That song is one that's harder for me to swallow. Love that enters the realm of violence is one that I have trouble with, even when in song.

So judge for yourself. Our lovely friends at Pitchfork have reviewed and posted for download one of his songs here!. It's a b-side called "Paddy's Gone" from a single off his newest album Now I Am A Bird. I think this track works because he layers his own voice into a much larger and attractive harmony. It gives the song, which really only features voice and piano, a deceptively symphonic depth. Enjoy my friends! And let me know what you think!

Beach Boys

I've been spinning records for 88.1 KWVA FM in Eugene lately. Every friday morning, from 4 a.m. to 6 a.m. I pick a random selection of tracks from the stations collection and mine and run through the music. Every friday they have a show called "One Hour, One Band." It's a chance for DJ's to spin whatever they want for a while, and I decided to take on one of my favorite bands of all time: The Beach Boys.

Now wait! Don't run away yet! I've got to defend this band just a little bit here. They're more than those guys that sang about surfing and girls from california. In fact after a couple years of drug abuse and declining record sales they turned into a very introspective and thoughtful band. After 1966 (enter LSD abuse) they almost completely stopped singing about surfing at all. editors note... the staff of Discord/Harmony does not recommend in anyway musicians use LSD or other drugs to facilitate the music writing and recording process. Brian Wilson, we will note, turned into a reclusive nutjob after doing so despite making some freaking awesome music.

From 1966 to 1975 (ish) the Beach Boys cranked out some amazing music, and a few of their highlights are songs about spreading music throughout the world. The music is incredibly inspiring, and well suited to their distinctive vocal harmony styles.

My day started at 4 a.m. to do my radio show. I was dreading today before I fell asleep. My mind said "Aaron, you've got not enough sleep coming your way and too much work to do afterwards. It's gonna suck, but you just have to get through it." 3:30 a.m. my alarm clock goes off. 4:05 a.m. I'm running into the radio station, late. My day continued full of work of various kinds for another 22 hours (well, there were a few social hours in there, but there was still a decided lack of sleep). But with a one hour block in my day dedicated to sitting and listening to beautiful harmonies with sincere and thoughtful lyrics I made it through it all.

Maybe it sounds a little sentimental, but I don't just listen to music like the Beach Boys because I find it interesting, or because of the stories that go behind the music (of which there are many) but more than anything because I get a warm gooey feeling inside me when I listen to certain songs. Sometime give a listen to Brian Wilson's masterpiece, his greatest work EVER "Surf's Up." This song I remind you, is not a dumb surfing song, and the lyrics are about as cryptic as they come. This music Mr. Wilson has given us is, to me, as spiritual as the most revered sacred text. It hits something deep in my core.

The Lion, the witch and the misogynist

I've been slowly re-reading the Chronicles of Narnia lately. I restarted the beloved children's series for three reasons. The first is that I wanted to approach the series with adult, educated eyes. I wanted to take in the series with a new, mature and more academic approach. I wanted to think about the series and what it symbolically meant. Second, Disney is releasing a film adaptation of The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe and the book nerd in me is simultaneously excited and dubious to see a childhood favorite on the big screen. Disney has hired on Weta, the team that worked so hard on the costumes, sets and special effects for the Lord of the Rings film adaptations, to work on the series. All of this mounts to an exciting release this December. And the third reason is my growing appreciation for the author Philip Pullman and his trilogy His Dark Materials.

Pullman is anything but subtle about his feelings towards C. S. Lewis and his popular childrens series. I have heard several times that Pullman wrote his series to counter the Narnia series, but reading them with Narnia in mind definitely gives corroborating evidence. And now the BBC has posted an article here with Pullman criticizing Disney for taking on the film and presenting it with any shred of Christian virture.

The article writes, "Pullman said the Narnia books contained 'a peevish blend of racist, misogynistic and reactionary prejudice' and 'not a trace' of Christian charity."

And Pullman himself had this to say, "It's not the presence of Christian doctrine I object to so much as the absence of Christian virtue."

So, here's the question. What can we get out of the Narnia series today? Believe me when I say that my love for the series goes back to before I can remember. I grew up watching the BBC's own version of the film series with it's animated monsters and stiff robotic Aslan. But reading them now I find a lot of difficult passages that run counter to my own personal values.

The sexism in the books is hard to overlook. In Wardrobe Lucy and Susan are constantly reminded of how a battlefield is no place for a girl. But the most difficult sequence for me is in Prince Caspian when Lucy is searching for Aslan.

In this story the four children return to Narnia to find that their legacy is now considered myth by many Narnians, and only few of the animals believe in them anymore. Humans are taking over the country, and the mythical creatures of the world are being pushed further away by those in power. As the children navigate their way through the land Lucy claims to see Aslan, or to know which way they should go. They continue to ignore her. When she finally gets close to Aslan, she hears a voice.

"Lucy woke out of the deepest sleep you can imagine, with the feeling that the voice she liked best in the world had been calling her name. She thought at first it was her father's voice, but that did not seem quite right. Then she thought it was Peter's voice, but that did not seem to fit either."

It was, of course, Aslan's voice, the God figure. To me this passage all to strongly places the idea of God as one that is inherently male.

I've talked about this with more people than I can count. Many of them have said the same thing to me. The general attitude of the sexism and racism throughout the series is to take the entire thing into context. Lewis was an Oxford scholar and his theology came in at a time when God was seen as generally male. All of this is true, and a perfectly reasonable argument, but there are still a number of problems with the sexism in the series that leave me unable to dismiss it as a contextual issue.

The first being that femenism was not invented in a post Lewis world. Madeline L'Engle was writing around the same time as Lewis, if not very shortly after, as was J. R. R. Tolkein, both of whom make some important decisions giving more powerful and important roles to female characters. To say that Lewis' time and environment was sexist, and therefor excuses some of his own attitudes that appear in some of his writing is a disservice to people of similar contexts that did not make the same mistake.

The second issue is how we treat the series. The Narnia series is, without a doubt, the most popular series of Christian storytelling, and has remained so for many years. With the new film series coming out, the popularity will likely grow. The series continues to be praised and lauded as an important text for Christian readership, at a time when the context demands equality. If we continue to read this story to our young, are we not perpetuating a sexism that is no longer contextually appropriate?

My opinion is biased towards Pullman's. I think he has a valid concern, and the making of the new movie resurfaces these thoughts as we present the story to the next generation. But at the same time, the religious significance and symbolism is incredibly compelling.

So what does this story tell us today? What can we get out of the series in a new and different context? And does today's context inhibit the story? Is Narnia sexist? If so, why? If not, why? Is this a story we should be reading/showing to new generations? Have you read the Pullman trilogy? Does the trilogy offer an alternative to Lewis' world? Do you find Pullman's series anti-religious? Give me your thoughts...

THE WORLD IN CRISIS!

Homestarrunner is one of the few truly unadulterated pleasures in this wide internet universe (webiverse? anyone?). For those of you who aren't aware, Homestar is a no armed "terrific athlete" who has adventures and laughs with his pals in Free Country USA. But nobody goes to the website to see Homestar, you go to see his hilariously ridiculous arch nemesis Strong Bad, who answers e-mails for all of his adoring fans.

In one particular episode, Strong Bad whips together a TV news broadcast. The leading story:
THE WORLD IN CRISIS!

It's a spoof of course on the sensationalist methods of broadcast media, but as I drove to work this morning listening to NPR, I wonder if that wouldn't be a proper headline for the entire morning's broadcast.

The news is scattered with violence and fear in Iraq and Afghanastan, the Gulf Coast is a disastor beyond any of our own comprehension, this weekend 30,000 people died in Pakistan from an earthquake, and the newest report to my ears was 600 people that died from mudslides in Guadalupe.

A look across the news is enough to set any god fearing fundamentalist running for their little black book (and not the kind with phone numbers.) It's a scary world to be sure.

But it's at times like these that I become very ungracious towards people that stick by the notion that there is a divine plan, and that everything that happens is all to support God's big game of Civilization. Can you say to someone who has lost everything in New Orleans that their pain is part of God's plan? What about the 30,000 people in Pakistan? Did they die by God's orders?

Unfortunately a minority of very loud fundamentalists are perpetuating this very idea. Katrina has been called "the fist of god" that is punishing America for it's tolerence of homosexual behavior. Another group claims that Katrina resembles a fetus, and is punishment for allowing abortions to continue.

I hate to give credence, or any webspace at all to these ideas, because I believe strongly that this is a minority view point. But it's also an incredibly hurtful viewpoint. Couldn't I just come out and say that Katrina was the fist of god trying to smite the bible belt in an effort to punish us for fundamentalism?

These things, natural disastors I mean, are not the will of god. God doesn't micromanage. Hell, I'll say it. God just isn't a thinking, plotting bastard that enacts violent punishment for bigoted beliefs.

But what is horrible and disgusting is using god as a method of hate. As Kurt Vonnegut says in his book Mother Night, real evil is found in people that hate without reservation, that hate so strongly that they believe that God hates with them.

So to the world in crisis, my thoughts are with you. To those who assume that natural disasters and acts of violence are divingly planned... get a day job.

A systematic theologian and a virtuoso violinist walk into a bar...

Several months ago i attended a series of discussions led by Harvard theologian Gordon Kaufman. The talks, and subsequent question and answer periods followed closely ideas laid out in Kaufman's most recent book (which I do recommend) In The Beginning... Creativity.

As best as I can, let me summarize some of what we discussed. Kaufman is an incredibly liberal thinker and has a very inticrate and carefully thought out theology. He argues that Christianity today is cuaght by language, in a sense. Today the ideas of Jesus, god, spirit, creation, etc are all caught in previous understandings and defenitions of those words, such that we are not really talking about god when we say "God" but talking about an idea that has changed and morphed over thousands of years.

Over the thousands of years we have created a standard that assumes God as a male, white, bearded guy in a big chair. It assumes divine plan and intervention. It assumes that everything that happens is all a large part of "God's plan." In contemporary times we struggle to justify the contradictions and destruction caused by a faith in this kind of god. What do you say to the abused woman about God's plan for her? What do you say to the countries full of hungry and oppressed people about God's plan?

Kaufman points out that the world we live in today was not predicted by the Bible, and therefor we need to rethink our understanding of God and the divine. A text written 2000 years ago is important to our culture and history, but not the source of all of our answers in life.

Kaufman believes that the idea of a warm, loving, conscious god are false, just as he believes that the vengeful, side-taking god is also false. In fact, putting faith on any conscious, intentionial, or creationist deity (or deities) is false.

Kaufman suggests instead of placing faith in a deity, or a dead prophet, or anything of that nature, that we look towards the notion of Creativity. He takes the famous opening of the Book of John and replaces "the word" with "creativity" and it reads thus (NRSV version): "In the beginning was creativity, and creativity was with god, and creativity was god."

Kaufman takes it a step further introducing the notion of serendipitous creativity. Kaufman's theology is based so very strongly in science that a clear answer to intelligent design is necessary. Kaufman rejects the idea of creationism, but also the ideas of any divine plan, which even people who reject conventional religion often cling to (reword).

The notion of God as creativity is an easy, and comforting notion to grasp, but reaching further and pulling away the idea that we're being watched and that there's some plan in this chaos we call reality leaves us incredibly alone. If I am to embrace the idea that there is no plan I'm stepping into a reality without hope or comfort. It leaves me asking, why have faith? Why be Christian, as Kaufman is, at all? What is the value of these cultural traditions that we uphold if there is nothing "up there" to receive them, if we are instead placing our faith in what are essentially accidents?

Kaufman's ideas are both compelling and troubling. I much prefer a faith of questions, than a religion of answers, and I'm well primed to reject divine plans, but Kaufman presents these ideas in a way that asks "Are you ready to put your money where your mouth is?" Are we ready to really embrace a theology of mystery?

What I, myself, experienced with Dr. Kaufman was a small death of the God I once knew. Even those of us who cannot place our faith in creationism, and are not hoping for miracles, even we carry the hope that there's someone with an idea of what's going on, and a direction. Someone who can tell us that it will get better, someone who has some grand plan.

But if there is no God doing just that, what is there? Why try?

I found, not an answer, but understanding through a musician out of Chicago named Andrew Bird. Many people will remember him as the talented violinist that played with the Squirrel Nut Zippers, but he has since started his own solo career of eccentric music with even stranger lyrics.

"Case In Point" off of his album The Swimming Hour opens with the world falling apart.

I'm a breather, mail receiver, and I don't know where I stand
Not since someone informed me, that my house was build on sand
But it's not the earth beneath me, it's just a concept of the land
And I'm standing on the corner, when the buildings they all fell
If you blink once you're a goner, everything just goes pell mell

The third line is as good a poetical description of the problems Kaufman sees in the world as I can find. The religions of today are not based on reality, or earth, but concepts that have perpetuated the land for thousands of years. But my sympathies are with Bird as he describes the crumbling of what was once a more foundational reality.


It's a real hard sell, my conceptual hell
Not even good for kindling, no, when the buildings they all fell

Bird clearly, like Kaufman, makes a destinction of reality and a concept. Bird's reality has lost its standing, and they no longer bring him warmth, he can't burn them, or even use them for kindling as the line implies.

I'm a breather, mailer receiver, bottom feeder just getting by
And you know it's all just par for the course
But you blame it on some non-existant force

And here is the question and the problem, those of us getting by and putting our faith in (or heck, blaming our problems on) something that does not exist. But what follows does not give any answer to the question "Why?" but possibly understanding to the Christian or person of faith that continues to have faith even when evidence would convince otherwise.

Oh yeah, of course
You know you can't ride the concept of the horse
But still I try

Again, there are no answers here, but a statement of intent. We have previously had faith that a greater deity has had plan and direction, which has allowed us to remain static. Bird states that it is impossible, and in my interpretation, our faith is entirely illogical, but, as Bird says, still I try. The song continues:

And I'm riding to meet you on a brown gray speckled mare
But there something that unnerves me, thinking no one really cares
And I'm jumping over fences On this obstacle course
But it seems I'm getting nowhere, on the concept of the horse

Once again, said the broken record, no answers. Bird does end the song after this with the previous "I try" refrain, but does not ignore the problem that we face. I ride the horse, but is it helping me? Am I getting anywhere at all?

Both Kaufman and Bird present a problem and an unsteady solution. There is no definite thing to cling to, and the individual is responsible for taking the forward steps. But what it does do is strips down our preconceived notions of the world and puts each individual in a position of responsibility to move forward, and not remain stagnant.