The small earthquake you just felt...

...was the rumble of my brain wanting to explode.

For educational purposes only I watched Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005. I'm watching this to compare the journalistic style of Barbara Walters to Edward R. Murrow. Now it might sound like this is an unfair battle, and that I'm intentionally setting Walters up to fail (not that she's putting up much resistance) but I've got two reasons for this. 1) I'm writing my paper now and that's the show that was on, and more importantly 2) Walter's uses a style of journalism that Murrow pioneered with his show Person to Person.

As expected, Walters mainly covered movie stars and other celebrities. One politician made it on the list, Condoleeza Rice, and one other figure of international importance, Camilla Parker Bowles. I want to note that Walters did not interview either of these people, but merely showed footage and photos (I'm especially fond of the fast paced switch back camera style they use on old still photos to make them look cool). I'm not going to knock her terribly hard for this, because both are about as high up in political fame as you can get right now, but it meant that she only really interviewed movie stars like Tom Cruise, which kind of defeats the purpose of a Walters special. Don't we watch to see her ask emberassingly stupid questions of celebrities?

This isn't SO bad I guess. I'm not surprised by anything, but I remain continually dissappointed with the state of television journalism, especially while I'm thinking about its bold beginnings with Ed Murrow at the helm.

But then Walters had to drop the cherry on top that would leave me wanting to run my head through a wall. Walters announced news special coming up Heaven: Where Is It? How Do We Get There?. She ended with the comment "I hope that by the end of the show you will have some answers to those questions."

(this is the point in which my mouth hung open, and I contemplated allowing my head to explode)

Of COURSE! What was I thinking? We've been going about this all wrong! What we REALLY need to answer the deep questions in life is the hard hitting investigative reporting we've come to expect from ABC, some muckracking research from Barbara Walters. I know I'll be watching, and taking notes on how I can get to heaven.

It is possible that the report will be far more interesting than that, and I truly hope that the title is misrepresenting the work, but I have this fear of a sit down tet-a-tet between Barbara Walters and Pope Benedict where Walters asks "Pope Benedict, may I call you Ben? The people want to know, just how does one get to heaven?" (if the forces to be have any sense of humor at all, he'll respond "Hell, I'm the pope! Don't I just get a free pass?")

Let me remind you, if you had forgotten, Walters' amazing interview several years back with fascinating person Will Smith. She asks what "getting jiggy with it" means. Smith, amused, tries to explain to Walters the concept the way a 14-year-old would explain to their bewildered parent who asks "Just what is it with you crazy kids these days?"

Walters, in her hard hitting journalistic way, asks, "Will Smith... Am I... getting jiggy with it?" (you've got to add the dramatic Walters pauses).

Forgive me, if you will, for doubting Walters' ability to present an intelligent and compelling look at the afterlife. Perhaps I'm already too cynical and set in my ways when thinking about the afterlife, but I'll be watching the special for amusement purposes only, because I'm betting it'll be a laugh.

In the meantime, I'd like to recommend that my gentle readers hop on down to their local theatre and check out George Clooney's Good Luck, and Good Night if it's still around. It's worth every penny, and seeing the old footage, and hearing the broadcasts alone brings chills down your spine. I'm a bit of a Murrow fanatic, so I'm quite biased, but his writing is truly inspirational. With just the use of words he really sets a scene and brings you into the action. His descriptions of London during WWII and the description of Buchenwald are chilling, and some of the best writing you'll see. He's a master of showing and not telling.